Sunday, March 4, 2012

Porn Books

Before you get any ideas, I’m not talking about books with graphic pictures or a Karma sutra encyclopedia.  I’m talking about good old fashioned smutty romance novels.  You know, the ones you hide in the back of your closet so company won’t happen to see them, and read late at night when it’s inconvenient to wake up your husband even though you’d really like to…yeah, those ones.

As I’ve mentioned before, I wasn’t a big reader until a few years ago, and I certainly hadn’t ever read a romance novel.  But when I did start reading, I asked around to see what other people were reading and one of those people was my mother-in-law (MIL).  Now, MIL loves romances novels with a passion (Ha! Get it, ‘passion’?) and she can read through a 300 pager in a day, so it wasn’t a big surprise when she handed a whole pile of them.  It was, however, a surprise when I began to read them!
I will admit here that I was a bit naïve when it came to exactly what was in those books and the first one I read was a bit of a shock for me.  I’m certain I was blushing just reading it and possibly blushing for days after that just thinking about it.  But the first one I picked up happen to be the first in a series and the story line was actually very interesting so I went ahead and read the rest of the ones the author had out and made a note to keep track of her new releases.

Flash forward a few years to a blistering cold winter’s day with no heat in the house, due to a power outage, and a writer friend mentioning the book she was reading didn’t have any kissing or even heavy flirting by page 100.  Compelled to find a good kissing scene for her I went to my closet and pulled a book out of what I affectionately call my Smutty Stack.  This book was also from MIL and I’d tried to read it before, but the first time I picked it up I could barely get through the first thirty pages without the sex being so graphic that I had to put the book down and walk away…far away.  The book was so dirty that if it’d been made into a movie it would be so X rated even the actors would be embarrassed to watch it.
But that’s what I was looking for, right?  A good kissing scene.  Ok, maybe not that kind of kissing scene, but it was the one that stuck out in my mind…for obvious reasons.  Anyway, I wrapped myself in a several blankets, turned to the approximate page of the scene and began to read, and read, and read.  And a few hours later I was no longer under the blankets and I’d finished the book.  Not only did I read the book the whole way through, I went back to my Smutty Stack to see if I had the next one in the series.

Luckily…I do!
I guess sometimes you just need a little sex to keep you warm.  (Take that however you like.)

Oh! And here's a little mood music for you...

2 comments:

  1. I did finally get a kiss out of that book. On page 238. That's what I get for reading young adult fiction! But seriously, it was a good story after all. And now that I'm done, I'm ready for a bit of smutty porn reading. What was the name of that series again? My power isn't out, but I'm never opposed to keeping warm at night...if you know what I mean.

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  2. BAHAHAHAHA!! Just between us (and your kazillion readers...they're not MINE so I can say this with no worries, right? lol). I love porn and was cracking up at this post (you're so cute, lol)! I am not a fan of "romance" novels but if you think that it's something I should "try" I'm willing to pick up...um...THAT book that you mentioned above whatever it is. I most definitely need something with action; as a matter of fact, I think I'll start on page 238. :)

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